Anatomy Trains

Perhaps you saw this story about the ‘faun’ dancer with cerebral palsy:

Genzlinger N 2009: Learning His Body, Learning to Dance New York Times November 24 2009

In early 2008, a young actor with cerebral palsy, Gregg Mozgala, was appearing as Romeo in a production in New York which involved a mix of actors, some with disabilities and some without. In the audience was choreographer Tamar Rogoff – who decided that she would explore the idea of producing a ballet, with this same young man dancing – despite the fact that he was totally untrained, and could not walk without exceptional distortion and effort.
Mozgala has described his walking style at that time as looking like “a human velociraptor.” He walked on his toes, with his lower extremities turned in, wobbling from side to side to maintain balance.

Genzlinger, writing in the New York Times (2009) report on the Mozgala/Rogoff story, quotes him as saying :
“My knees were going in, my hips were totally rotated inward. Gravity was just taking me down. So my upper body — arms and chest — overcompensated, curling back and up.”
Some 9 months later, from December 3rd to 20th, Mozgala appeared in New York, in a production (Diagnosis of a Faun) choreographed by Rogoff, at the Eileen Stewart Theater.
How was Mozgala able to go from his previous dysfunctional walk, to be able to appear on stage as a dancer?
Only a few clues have been offered thus far. It seems that Tamar Rogoff possesses other skills – that lie in the bodywork and movement arena. Whether these involve formal training, or acquisition over the years of particular skills associated with her work, is as yet unclear.

In the text below, Rogoff and Mozgala describe aspects of the process in their own words:

Tamar Rogoff:

I began the work in order to prepare Gregg to dance the role of the Faun in a new work I was choreographing. I first saw him as an actor and his body energy called out to me as it was interesting—strong and active and responsive to the text. I liked how his passion ignited and was in direct contradiction to his physical condition. He seemed to act his way out of his c.p. leaving me unaware while watching him do romeo and Juliet that he had it and I knew he could dance his way beyond it as well.

I used a lifetime of body learning—everything from decades of dance techniques (ballet-Graham-Bharata natyam) to bodywork. My bodywork teachers were alan wayne and monica Hathaway both of whom taught me ultimately never to listen to them but find my own way. I’ve never studied Feldenkrais or Trager or Alexander or yoga—for the last 26 years I have given a laboratory class at PS 122 and now at LaMama in New York—many students have been with me for all these years—they are mostly actors and they agree to being there while I investigate whatever interests me—this is an experiential anatomy approach where I can spend a year behind the sternum, for example—then include any landmarks in the body that interest me—bones-joints muscles-spaces between things—the class speaks my idiosyncratic language —alignment issues—mine and theirs often spark investigation—in my class at NYU ETW I add how this investigation can be the origin of a choreographic vocabulary and how it can enliven acting—this is not at all academic, as I haven’t studied the body in an organized course but have picked up information everywhere. I tend to start where I am or from what I see and let the class follow where the body takes us—a class can’t ever be replicated.

The first order of business with Gregg was to steady him enough so he could transcend his main concern which was balance and introduce him to new ways other than his set in stone movement vocabulary which seemed designed to compensate for the inward rotation of his legs and hips He was locked in to a very specific body vise and felt at the mercy of the signals from his brain which were telling him to tense up—we sat on chairs and stamped the feet—I offered imagery—the horse shoe heel—we opened the knees—tucked him into the fetal position which rounded the lumbar spine and changed the curves he needed for balance once standing—introduced opposition walking rather than the seesaw side to side lurch which was the way he got around, and after a few weeks I taught him the shaking technique
Shaking—we started lying down on the back– legs bent feet on the floor—arms outstretched to the sides—palms up–opening and closing the legs (knees) waiting until involuntary shaking and trembling took over—it took several sessions and ended up starting in thumps of the chest against the floor, the head doing an uncomfortable looking lifting and nodding—all very violent and not where I was expecting it to come from—each time he lay down the body took off in this same way until it ran its course—any time I put my hand on Gregg’s chest I could elucidate a thumping—later came other lightning bolts of zigzag energy—month by month we worked out pattern after pattern—my finger under his lips could cause enormous gagging—his arms pounded the mats—his hands clapped together until they hurt and I had to put something between them—at some point what you might call shaking began—a bit quieter but still intense—thru the thighs and sacrum –then a vibrato took hold of his belly—his stomach muscles had never served him as the way his upper body met his lower was disconnected from the body’s original design — then came more pounding, now thru the lumbar—all this we followed as the body led us through. I selected a position from which to start sometimes lying on the back and sometimes on the belly or sitting in a chair—I selected a movement to begin getting us to the involuntary part and then we dedicated an hour or two to follow its course–we were in a gym so we had mats and blocks and everything you might use for yoga—I built him structures to get his pelvis up off of the floor so his legs could be tossed over his chest and his hamstrings could stretch and he could access his stomach muscles—now that his body had experienced the shaking it constantly went to that mode in any stretch
Standing and hanging over fingers near toes—we used this to stretch out and access the lumbar and open it up—here we got seizing up and a great deal of fear—I bypassed the fear many a time by using my body against his—almost like lending him my nervous system—my sense of flow—throughout I used my body to teach his—he could relax onto me in different ways—the little reiki I know I used to quiet him as well –my hands sent messages and new patterns—now one sweep of my hand can illicit a 20 minute reaction and instil a new or even a permanent understanding—more and more he asks me to move aside as his body is telling him something directly and he must be left alone to follow his internal clues
Walking—from the beginning he walked at every session and I gave him a small message often connected to an image to take on the street with him—we had to watch his exiting on to the street as he tended to revert to a prior more protective –historically more familiar mode—mostly I just watched his walk and saw where energy didn’t flow—where the body was uneven or where the foot didn’t touch the floor—as his abilities grew he could feel when his sacrum was rigid or not—
Attitudes –Gregg is addicted to the way feelings and information come through his body—he’s in awe when he feels space in the hip sockets or connections from one place or another—or when he can just slow down–this is a reversal of his former attitude which was a slave to his condition –always taking orders from the Bully (Oliver Sachs’ term for the lesion on the brain in C.P.)–always using tons of fast frenetic energy to muscle him through everything from walking to sex—his mind which functioned in a more nuanced way was at odds with the pace and lack of modulation in his body. What he thought in his mind—was not do-able in his body–therefore immense frustration as his hyper vigilance governed the resonance of his body making known its limitations
Identity—Gregg evolved his personhood –body and mind to fit into his C.P. body—thru that body he felt every emotion and in that body was stored all memories pleasurable and painful—his body rhythms –walking and running were the sound score to his life—the drag of his foot—his particular toe walk —as his alignment changed —his patterns changed and he became a stranger to himself and in fact to me—it was the original walk that housed the person I was interested in—the new neutral was exciting because it proved that change was possible but a bit blah and devoid of any personality—I often noticed when Gregg was drunk ,or stoned, that his happiness reverted into the old home base of his original alignment—he reports that when he is being an actor the same happens—
Going forward the questions are:
How will his new body house him?

What parts of the changes he’s elicited in his body will remain with him irrespective of his actively being conscious of them ?

What amount of consciousness will be necessary to keep a healthier alignment ?

For how long and how much will he have to continue the bodywork process?

We are planning a phase two of this project which will include bringing another person with C.P. on board so Gregg can both watch me teach and teach this person himself—will teaching the work keep him involved and help preserve his new patterns ?

How far will we be able to go towards a permanent positive alignment ?

How will Greggs’ personality —emotional balance– identity and world view evolve to meet his new needs in his changing body?

Gregg Mozgala

I’m sitting on a stool. Tamar is in front of me and has her hands on my feet. She’s placing them into proper alignment and pressing my pinkie toes, forever raised like the true aristocrats they are, into the ground. They were caught unawares by the revolution and need to learn what it means to do an honest day’s work. Tamar instructs me on how to get my feet into proper alignment. She uses her hands at first to show me the path my foot should travel up and down. She lists all the joints in the foot: heel/talace/ankle/ball/etc… and encourages me to think of the foot in its many pieces as opposed to a heavy, single slab. I ask her to let me try the motion on my own and input the suggestion of the feet as a mutli-faceted unit. There’s an increase in sensation almost immediately. My body is in conflict with itself. It wants to discover these new routes, new ways of moving, which is actually the way it was originally designed to move, but it takes time and effort to release it from it’s old modes of behavior. I’m working on my right foot alone. As I focus to raise and lower my foot, I can feel my left leg grabbing in the hip flexor, the knee wanting to turn in, the heel coming off the ground. I stop. I ask Tamar for a yoga block. With my left foot on the block and supported the “bully reflex” is interrupted and I can put all my attention and focus into my right foot. The simple action of raising and lowering my foot takes an incredible amount of focus and is physically strenuous. After a few minutes I am shaking. Not just in my legs, but my entire pelvis starts undulating. All this movement, termed “shaking” is purely involuntary. As my body discovers the correct pathways and what I assume are new neural connections as a result of positive alignment, my body learns that it can utilize these new pathways and release the old mechanism that had previously allowed for standing, hind-limb ambulation, running, jumping and general mobility with the effective, but less efficient, C.P. alignment. What the shaking does is soften my otherwise tense or spastic musculature to receive basic instructions such as; point your sternum down, tuck your tailbone under, close the front ribs/open the back ribs, etc. What’s more, as my right leg and entire right side begins to learn proper alignment my resting leg begins to respond similarly. Not nearly with the same intensity, but it’s as if one side is teaching the other- like a game of “Follow the Leader.” As my body reroutes I often times also experience a physiological-emotional response. In this case, I experienced waves of nausea and became very emotional to the point of tears. Tamar and I never stop or get bogged down with the psychological or emotional ramifications of this. This would kill our progress. We soldier on through. Both of us realize that what’s happening when this occurs is that my body is opening up areas that have been previously unavailable or inaccessible for over thirty years. It is what it is, and this to shall pass.

I’d like to digress for a moment here and talk a little bit about my body’s relationship with fear. Tamar has said that my hyper-vigilance is due to my body being in a constant state of emergency. I have come to understand this as a constant fear of falling. During some of our most recent studio sessions as I experience release in my lower body, specifically in the leg below the knee, I’ve noticed that my arms- shoulders, forearms, wrists and hands get extremely tense. I believe this is a compensation that my body does automatically as a protective measure. As I move my pelvis, hips, legs and feet into proper alignment- into an alignment that my body has never felt- my body tenses. This is because I believe IT believes I’m going to fall down. This is a new and fascinating concept to me. I first became aware of my body’s fear response during the rehearsal period. The first day I was working on the set piece we affectionately refer to as, “The Rock,” I couldn’t even sit on it without waves of physical terror coursing through me. I was flanked by Tamar on my left and Sharon, our stage manager, on my right. As I moved around on it and eventually tried to stand up, I held on to them for balance and support. Initially I couldn’t stand up on it without their help. My body would tense so much that it would literally drop me to my knees for a more supported base. If they let go of me the waves of terror would return and I would simply ask- or scream or cry out- for one of them to touch me. This simple action both comforted and grounded me. During our opening week of performance I was experiencing so much pain as a result of tension in my hip flexors that I was convinced it was only a matter of time before I was going to injure myself. Tamar stressed the importance of a focused warm-up. As I increased my warm up and internal focus the pain first moved from my left side to my right and then disappeared completely. By the end of the first week of shows it was gone. It didn’t return for the remainder of the run. As we work in the studio, I’ve realized that I can actually counter this fear response by slowing down and convincing my body that it’s okay- that it’s not in a state of emergency. The grip we call, “The bully reflex” is the grip of fear. If I stay focused and connected to my body as I move into proper alignment, using my mind, I can show my body that there’s an alternative to falling that’s better, safer, more productive. I’m still working on developing this theory but could this be me willing my body to change?

We work on my right side for a good forty-five minutes to an hour. I’m shaking. I’m gagging. I’m nauseous. I feel great. It’s time for me to stand up and walk around to see how my body has integrated these latest changes with movement. Tamar slowly removes my left foot from the block, being careful to place it down on the ground in the proper alignment. I ask to try and replicate what I have just done on my right foot with my left for a few times before I stand up. Tamar acquiesces. My left foot is considerably more rigid and less responsive then my right foot in general. It’s harder to lift and place down properly but I mange to do it about half a dozen times before Tamar assists me with standing up. I walk into the studio and with the first few steps it’s as if my brain has caught fire. My feet are on the floor like never before. I have a roll to my walk that involves the entire foot that I’ve never utilized until this very moment. It’s incredible. I walk for a bit. I allow my body to integrate all the new information we have just fed it. I try to let my new walk walk me. I listen to my body. Before we know it our work has come to an end for the day.

Neither of us had this planned when we arrived at the studio this morning. We never have an agenda. It just happened. This progress with the feet however, would not have been possible if we had not been working so intensively over the last eight to ten months. Tamar and I continue to talk as we change clothes and prepare to reenter the world at large. I have to head to the West Village to rehearse for a reading I am doing later that evening. Before we exit the studio Tamar gives me a few basic directions to carry with me through out the day. I listen. I try and put them into practice as we climb the studio steps and exit out onto the street. Tamar returns the keys to Teddy at the gym. I cross the street and enter my building. As I enter my apartment and hit the stairs I remind my body of the work we have just done and take each step slowly and deliberately, careful to make sure I am landing half-toe/heel/with the outside of my heel pressing down. As I walk up the steps I think for the first time ever, “I love walking up stairs,” as I fight back the urge to throw up in my mouth.

These extracts from Tamar and Gregg’s notes describe a really remarkable transformation

I was asked to provide my commentary to the above notes:

When this story appeared in the papers, I was very interested in the method employed, so I am glad to have this level of detail from both teacher and recipient. How wonderful that the method has no name! It reminds us that the path of healing is not restricted by specific approaches, but wends its way upward in switchbacks. It reminds us that our ‘name brands’ in bodywork – dear to us if they are our own, or raising our interest or suspicion (or both) if they seem to run counter to our beliefs – are but signposts along this path, and not the path itself.

Secondly, I was impressed with the emphasis on what Gregg can do. So much of medical rehabilitation starts with what the patient cannot do, striving to make the currently impossible possible again. It was Emilie Conrad (of Continuum fame), herself a dancer originally, who first introduced me to the very liberating concept of: Start with what they can do. Explore that, and the novelty will arise, and then explore that, which leads on to more novel movements. Emphasis on the problem, difficulty, lack, and inability – even with a ‘helpful’ attitude – can leave a patient frustrated and depressed.

Tamara’s method seems to owe much to the dancer’s sure knowledge that everyone has limitations, and yet everyone has a world within his body. Gregg’s Bully had limited his movement range, and then he himself had limited it further by adopting and constantly reverting to his CP stance, his rolling gait, his locked-in legs. By exploring an unrelated but possible movement within his range, he was led naturally up the switchbacks rather then going for the straight line uphill – which can be an effective path for the simple injury rehab, but not for a complex and enduring ‘condition’ such as Gregg presented. Seeing the situation as an opportunity instead of a problem is the artist’s prerogative, and one that more therapists would do well to adopt.

Thirdly, we can note that every one of these conditions has a somatoemotional component, very much evident in Gregg’s self-disclosing comments – he loves this and he’s about to gag; he’s standing and crying out in his fear of failure (falling). Those who undertake these deep structural healing processes should be prepared for cognitive dissonance, for not believing everything you think, for contrary emotions that occupy brain and belly together, for deep swoops and giddy highs that follow each other. Gregg clearly had the strength for such a journey and not everyone is willing.

The shaking is an essential part of such releases, when the ‘accelerator / brake’ (combined excitatory and inhibitory signals, autonomic and somatic) lets go its grip and neuromuscular patterns (in my experience) let go, shake for some time, and then normalise. From the sounds of it, there was a ‘whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on’, indicative of both how deep Gregg’s patterns ran, but also how deep he was prepared to go to free them.

Finally, we must note how much time and attention it took to stage Diagnosis of a Faun – and to complete even this stage of healing. There is no indication of how many hours the two spent together in the nine months, but on the basis of my own experience with similar journeys, I can easily believe that both were engaged pretty full-time on this project. How lucky for Gregg to have such a dedicated teacher! How lucky for Tamara to have such a willing student! Most professionals in the healing trade cannot set aside so much time for one person. But it is in these journeys that the possibilities of healing a revealed, which are later refined and fitted into protocols by others who follow. Thank you Tamara, and thank you Gregg for the glimpse into deep and pathbreaking healing via the arts.